Post by President Rufus Shinra on Nov 16, 2006 13:14:52 GMT -5
Journey on an Airship!
Story version!
Tale One - S.S. BrownIe!
By Cyrus
--
|| This tale of which you are about to indulge yourself in is no ordinary tale... ||
|| Filed with randomness, chaos, insanity, and overall stupidity, this... oh screw it, this story has no plot... ||
|| But, there will be so many involved in this worthless piece of crap that you'll jump off a cliff! So far, we know that there is... ||
|| Cecil (Dark Knight) 1. ||
|| Cecil (Paladin) 2. ||
Kain: Oh come on, why does Cecil get to be pretty!?
|| Kain... ||
|| Edward. ||
Edward: *Sweatdrop.* I'ma die...
|| Rosa. <3 ||
|| Cid #1-13... ||
Kain: I HATE YOU!
|| ...Ignore him... ||
|| Cloud. ||
Cloud: Can we please get this over with? This turtle neck is killing me...
|| Aerith. <3 ||
Aerith: Aww, but I like it. <3
Tifa: ... *Death glare.*
|| Tifa. ||
Yuffie: BROWNIES! MATERIA!
|| Yuffie... ||
Vincent: You'll be the first to die if Yuffie touches me.
|| Uh... Vincent. ||
|| Sephiroth... ||
Sephiroth: Why am I included?
|| Squall. ||
Squall: Blah, blah...
|| .. (Fast forward) .. ||
|| Tidus. ||
Tidus: Hehe!
Rinoa: What about me!?
|| ...And other miscellaneous characters. (I just don't feel like writing them.) ||
Misc. Chars.: HEY!!
Elsewhere, the SS B—rownie, is about ready for departure. Apparently, the name's been painted over.
Voice: Hey!!
Cid: Who put “brownie” on my name!? It's supposed to say “brandson!”
Aerith: And who put Jenova on the hull...?
Somehow Sephiroth is suddenly clinging to the ship maid, who is supposedly, Jenova.
Sephiroth: I WON'T LEAVE WITHOUT MOTHER!
Aerith: ... *Sweatdrop.*
Cid: *Still complaining about the sabotage to his airship.* Damn it! It took me all night to think of it!
Kain: *Brushing his teeth with a cup of water on hand.* Wha? Wath goe' awn?
Aerith: ... *Still freaked out by Sephiroth.* Sephiroth's actin' funny...
Cid: Sephiroth! Get down from there damn it!
Sephiroth: Mother~!
Kain: ... *Ignoring the scene but watching.* By the way, where's Cecil 1 and Cecil 2?
Aerith: *Also watching.* Cecil 2 is in the bathroom brushing his hair, and Cecil 1 is trying to get him out after three hours...
WHACK!
Sephiroth: OW!
Cid: Get down, damn it!
Cid whacks Sephiroth several more times before he finally falls.
Cid: Agablahblah!
Sephiroth: Nooooo~~...
Aerith: Um...
Kain: Crap.
...ELSEWHERE...
Cecil 1 is standing in front of the bathroom door with only his helmet and towel on.
Cecil 1: Cecil! Get out of the god damned bathroom already, I need to take a shower!!
Cecil 2: But I'm not pretty enough!
Cecil 1: Screw your prettiness!
Cecil 2: *Peeks from the bathroom.* Do you think I'm pretty enough?
Cecil 1: YES now just get out of there!
Cecil 2: Okay!
Cecil 2 leaves the bathroom and joins the others.
Cecil 2: Hey everyone! Look at me, I'm pretty!
Sephiroth: ...ooooo.... *Falls onto Cecil 2.*
Aerith, Kain: ... So much for that.
Cid: Other Cecil! C'mon, we gotta move it!
Cecil 1: *From the bathroom.* God damn it, I was just gunna get in the shower!!
Cecil 2: Oh no Cecil, you don't wanna take a shower there. Tifa was having her fun in there!
Everyone is suddenly dead silent.
Cecil 2: What? That's what she said!
Cloud suddenly appears on scene.
Cloud: What's this about Tifa having fun?
Aerith: Cloud!
Cloud: Hey there, Aerith.
Cid: `bout time you got your spiky ass up.
Cloud: Hey, that's Barret's line!
They're all silent as they wait for a moment.
Cloud: ... Okay, where's Barret?
Cid: Still in Corel.
Cloud: YES! I mean... Damn it. What about Marlene?
Cid: With Barret in Corel.
Cloud: Denzel?
Cid: Corel.
Cloud: The Turks?
Cid: Surprisingly, Corel.
Cloud: Damn it, why's everyone is Corel!?
Aerith: How'd you finally get up anyway?
Cloud: Mister Giddy.
Tidus: *Also randomly appears on scene.* Hey! I'm not giddy!
Cloud: You play with a fucking ball all night and laugh like it's the most hilarious thing.
Tidus is silent for a moment.
Tidus: ...So!?
Cid: So where's the others?
Cloud: Squall told me that he locked up Rinoa in a trunk and put her on the ship last night. Yuffie's around here somewhere—
Yuffie: BROWNIEEEES! *Tackles Cloud.*
Cloud: *Cough.* ...Good morning to you too...
Cid: Well, what about Vincent, Edward, and Rosa?
Cecil 2: Rosa's on the ship.
Vincent walks up with Edward clinging to him.
Edward: HELP ME! I'M GUNNA DIE!
Vincent: ...Can someone please get him off of me...
Edward: We're all gunna die... I just know it... AHH!
Edward runs away as Squall approaches with his gunblade.
Squall: Keheheh, I love terrorizing that pansy.
Aerith: Squall! That's so mean!
Cloud: That's just Squall. `sides, it means I'm not alone.
Squall: Heh.
Squall and Cloud high-five each other.
Aerith: Oh boy...
Cid: Let's just get on the friggin' ship already...
Kain is already on board, managing the controls.
Kain: Ready to test fly this thing!
Cid: AHH! Kain, wait, you don't know how to—
Kain sends the airship shooting out of the hanger at top speed, while clinging to the driving wheel for dear life.
Cid: ...fly the airship...
Squall: Great, so while dumb ass is circling the globe with a hunk of uncontrollable metal, what're we supposed to do?
Tidus: Tag, you're it!!
Squall is struck with a Blitz Ball.
Squall: ...
Aerith: Uh-oh.
Edward: WE'RE ALL GUNNA DIE!
Vincent: Do you ever say anything else!?
Cecil 2: Run away! I'm too beautiful!
Squall: *Prepares to throw.* Good, that means I'll hit you first...
Edward, Cecil 2: EEK!
Later...
Everyone is on the ground exhausted and hurt.
Everyone: Ughh...
Edward is the only one to emerge unhurt from the group, and glances around.
Edward: Hey... I'm the only one left... That means I win! Yay!
Squall: ... Stupid... Idiot...
Squall throws the ball at Edward with his remaining strength, which is rather petty. Edward stands there for a moment, completely silent.
Edward: Hey, that didn't-- *Faints.*
Squall: Loser...
Tifa appears in only a towel.
Tifa: ... The hell happened here?
Cloud: Ourghh, Tifa..!
Tifa: Cloud! *Goes over to him and holds him up.* Are you okay?
Cloud: *Trying not to stare at her bust, which is in his face.* Uggh... Uh... I... I want...
Tifa: Some potions?
Cloud: ...To touch... you... Ehee...
Tifa: *Just realizing.* AHH! Cloud, you pervert!
Tifa socks Cloud and sends him flying.
Cloud: Ahhhh....
Aerith: Noo, Cloud!
Aerith goes to heal to hurt Cloud.
Tifa: ... *Glares.*
Cloud is healed by Aerith.
Cloud: Uhh, Aerith?
Squall: Hey lady, mind helpin' someone else out...?
Aerith: Uh, I suppose...
Later, again...
Tidus: Woo, we're all better!
Vincent: Yeah yeah yay and all that, now get this dork away from me.
Edward: Am I dead yet?
Tifa: Where's Sephiroth?
Everyone is silent.
Aerith: Uhh... Well...
Elsewhere...
Sephiroth is clinging desperately to Jenova on the front of the raging airship, which Kain is still unable to control.
Sephiroth: AHHH, SAVE ME, MOTHER!
Back at the group...
Cid: This is just dandy, how're we supposed to get the ship back?
Yuffie: I want my brownies back!
Cid: Shut up about your god damn brownies and si'own!
Yuffie sits.
Vincent: I have an idea. Cloud.
Cloud: Oh no... I'm not doing that again.
Aerith: C'mon Cloud!
Tifa: Do what?
Vincent: You'll see.
Cloud sighs and takes out a thing of Black Materia, and starts waving it in the air.
Cloud: Oh no, I have all this spare Materia for use of ultimate world destruction and Sephiroth isn't around to claim it... Yuffie can't take it `cause she'll just ruin everything... Whatever shall we do with this Materia...?
They wait, and a few moments later the airship comes crashing into the hanger and Sephiroth seizes Cloud by the throat.
Sephiroth: BLACK MATERIA!
Cloud: *Chokes.* Here you go... Oh wait... My mistake... It's just a big marble...
Sephiroth cries out melodramatically.
Sephiroth: Nooooo~! My plot for world domination is ruined!! Mother, I have failed you!
Jenova: Oh stop it you big baby.
Sephiroth: Mother?
Everyone else is too perplexed by the fact that Jenova just spoke.
Jenova: ... *Sweatdrops.* What? I'm just a talking ship, ignore me...
Cloud: Oh, whew.
Yuffie: Glad we were only hearing things!
Cid: Fer a minute there I actually thought she was real...
Aerith: Wait, were all of us hearing Jenova speak?
Everyone is silent. [/b]
Cid: Time to go!
Cloud: Yeah.
Yuffie: Yay! Brownies!
Vincent: Finally...
Squall: About time.
Tifa: Let's get going.
Tidus: Anyone wanna play ball when we get in the air?
Everyone else: NO!
Tidus: *Sweatdrops.* Eee... Okay...
[[ Teh End! To Be Continued! ]]
Story version!
Tale One - S.S. BrownIe!
By Cyrus
--
|| This tale of which you are about to indulge yourself in is no ordinary tale... ||
|| Filed with randomness, chaos, insanity, and overall stupidity, this... oh screw it, this story has no plot... ||
|| But, there will be so many involved in this worthless piece of crap that you'll jump off a cliff! So far, we know that there is... ||
|| Cecil (Dark Knight) 1. ||
|| Cecil (Paladin) 2. ||
Kain: Oh come on, why does Cecil get to be pretty!?
|| Kain... ||
|| Edward. ||
Edward: *Sweatdrop.* I'ma die...
|| Rosa. <3 ||
|| Cid #1-13... ||
Kain: I HATE YOU!
|| ...Ignore him... ||
|| Cloud. ||
Cloud: Can we please get this over with? This turtle neck is killing me...
|| Aerith. <3 ||
Aerith: Aww, but I like it. <3
Tifa: ... *Death glare.*
|| Tifa. ||
Yuffie: BROWNIES! MATERIA!
|| Yuffie... ||
Vincent: You'll be the first to die if Yuffie touches me.
|| Uh... Vincent. ||
|| Sephiroth... ||
Sephiroth: Why am I included?
|| Squall. ||
Squall: Blah, blah...
|| .. (Fast forward) .. ||
|| Tidus. ||
Tidus: Hehe!
Rinoa: What about me!?
|| ...And other miscellaneous characters. (I just don't feel like writing them.) ||
Misc. Chars.: HEY!!
Elsewhere, the SS B—rownie, is about ready for departure. Apparently, the name's been painted over.
Voice: Hey!!
Cid: Who put “brownie” on my name!? It's supposed to say “brandson!”
Aerith: And who put Jenova on the hull...?
Somehow Sephiroth is suddenly clinging to the ship maid, who is supposedly, Jenova.
Sephiroth: I WON'T LEAVE WITHOUT MOTHER!
Aerith: ... *Sweatdrop.*
Cid: *Still complaining about the sabotage to his airship.* Damn it! It took me all night to think of it!
Kain: *Brushing his teeth with a cup of water on hand.* Wha? Wath goe' awn?
Aerith: ... *Still freaked out by Sephiroth.* Sephiroth's actin' funny...
Cid: Sephiroth! Get down from there damn it!
Sephiroth: Mother~!
Kain: ... *Ignoring the scene but watching.* By the way, where's Cecil 1 and Cecil 2?
Aerith: *Also watching.* Cecil 2 is in the bathroom brushing his hair, and Cecil 1 is trying to get him out after three hours...
WHACK!
Sephiroth: OW!
Cid: Get down, damn it!
Cid whacks Sephiroth several more times before he finally falls.
Cid: Agablahblah!
Sephiroth: Nooooo~~...
Aerith: Um...
Kain: Crap.
...ELSEWHERE...
Cecil 1 is standing in front of the bathroom door with only his helmet and towel on.
Cecil 1: Cecil! Get out of the god damned bathroom already, I need to take a shower!!
Cecil 2: But I'm not pretty enough!
Cecil 1: Screw your prettiness!
Cecil 2: *Peeks from the bathroom.* Do you think I'm pretty enough?
Cecil 1: YES now just get out of there!
Cecil 2: Okay!
Cecil 2 leaves the bathroom and joins the others.
Cecil 2: Hey everyone! Look at me, I'm pretty!
Sephiroth: ...ooooo.... *Falls onto Cecil 2.*
Aerith, Kain: ... So much for that.
Cid: Other Cecil! C'mon, we gotta move it!
Cecil 1: *From the bathroom.* God damn it, I was just gunna get in the shower!!
Cecil 2: Oh no Cecil, you don't wanna take a shower there. Tifa was having her fun in there!
Everyone is suddenly dead silent.
Cecil 2: What? That's what she said!
Cloud suddenly appears on scene.
Cloud: What's this about Tifa having fun?
Aerith: Cloud!
Cloud: Hey there, Aerith.
Cid: `bout time you got your spiky ass up.
Cloud: Hey, that's Barret's line!
They're all silent as they wait for a moment.
Cloud: ... Okay, where's Barret?
Cid: Still in Corel.
Cloud: YES! I mean... Damn it. What about Marlene?
Cid: With Barret in Corel.
Cloud: Denzel?
Cid: Corel.
Cloud: The Turks?
Cid: Surprisingly, Corel.
Cloud: Damn it, why's everyone is Corel!?
Aerith: How'd you finally get up anyway?
Cloud: Mister Giddy.
Tidus: *Also randomly appears on scene.* Hey! I'm not giddy!
Cloud: You play with a fucking ball all night and laugh like it's the most hilarious thing.
Tidus is silent for a moment.
Tidus: ...So!?
Cid: So where's the others?
Cloud: Squall told me that he locked up Rinoa in a trunk and put her on the ship last night. Yuffie's around here somewhere—
Yuffie: BROWNIEEEES! *Tackles Cloud.*
Cloud: *Cough.* ...Good morning to you too...
Cid: Well, what about Vincent, Edward, and Rosa?
Cecil 2: Rosa's on the ship.
Vincent walks up with Edward clinging to him.
Edward: HELP ME! I'M GUNNA DIE!
Vincent: ...Can someone please get him off of me...
Edward: We're all gunna die... I just know it... AHH!
Edward runs away as Squall approaches with his gunblade.
Squall: Keheheh, I love terrorizing that pansy.
Aerith: Squall! That's so mean!
Cloud: That's just Squall. `sides, it means I'm not alone.
Squall: Heh.
Squall and Cloud high-five each other.
Aerith: Oh boy...
Cid: Let's just get on the friggin' ship already...
Kain is already on board, managing the controls.
Kain: Ready to test fly this thing!
Cid: AHH! Kain, wait, you don't know how to—
Kain sends the airship shooting out of the hanger at top speed, while clinging to the driving wheel for dear life.
Cid: ...fly the airship...
Squall: Great, so while dumb ass is circling the globe with a hunk of uncontrollable metal, what're we supposed to do?
Tidus: Tag, you're it!!
Squall is struck with a Blitz Ball.
Squall: ...
Aerith: Uh-oh.
Edward: WE'RE ALL GUNNA DIE!
Vincent: Do you ever say anything else!?
Cecil 2: Run away! I'm too beautiful!
Squall: *Prepares to throw.* Good, that means I'll hit you first...
Edward, Cecil 2: EEK!
Later...
Everyone is on the ground exhausted and hurt.
Everyone: Ughh...
Edward is the only one to emerge unhurt from the group, and glances around.
Edward: Hey... I'm the only one left... That means I win! Yay!
Squall: ... Stupid... Idiot...
Squall throws the ball at Edward with his remaining strength, which is rather petty. Edward stands there for a moment, completely silent.
Edward: Hey, that didn't-- *Faints.*
Squall: Loser...
Tifa appears in only a towel.
Tifa: ... The hell happened here?
Cloud: Ourghh, Tifa..!
Tifa: Cloud! *Goes over to him and holds him up.* Are you okay?
Cloud: *Trying not to stare at her bust, which is in his face.* Uggh... Uh... I... I want...
Tifa: Some potions?
Cloud: ...To touch... you... Ehee...
Tifa: *Just realizing.* AHH! Cloud, you pervert!
Tifa socks Cloud and sends him flying.
Cloud: Ahhhh....
Aerith: Noo, Cloud!
Aerith goes to heal to hurt Cloud.
Tifa: ... *Glares.*
Cloud is healed by Aerith.
Cloud: Uhh, Aerith?
Squall: Hey lady, mind helpin' someone else out...?
Aerith: Uh, I suppose...
Later, again...
Tidus: Woo, we're all better!
Vincent: Yeah yeah yay and all that, now get this dork away from me.
Edward: Am I dead yet?
Tifa: Where's Sephiroth?
Everyone is silent.
Aerith: Uhh... Well...
Elsewhere...
Sephiroth is clinging desperately to Jenova on the front of the raging airship, which Kain is still unable to control.
Sephiroth: AHHH, SAVE ME, MOTHER!
Back at the group...
Cid: This is just dandy, how're we supposed to get the ship back?
Yuffie: I want my brownies back!
Cid: Shut up about your god damn brownies and si'own!
Yuffie sits.
Vincent: I have an idea. Cloud.
Cloud: Oh no... I'm not doing that again.
Aerith: C'mon Cloud!
Tifa: Do what?
Vincent: You'll see.
Cloud sighs and takes out a thing of Black Materia, and starts waving it in the air.
Cloud: Oh no, I have all this spare Materia for use of ultimate world destruction and Sephiroth isn't around to claim it... Yuffie can't take it `cause she'll just ruin everything... Whatever shall we do with this Materia...?
They wait, and a few moments later the airship comes crashing into the hanger and Sephiroth seizes Cloud by the throat.
Sephiroth: BLACK MATERIA!
Cloud: *Chokes.* Here you go... Oh wait... My mistake... It's just a big marble...
Sephiroth cries out melodramatically.
Sephiroth: Nooooo~! My plot for world domination is ruined!! Mother, I have failed you!
Jenova: Oh stop it you big baby.
Sephiroth: Mother?
Everyone else is too perplexed by the fact that Jenova just spoke.
Jenova: ... *Sweatdrops.* What? I'm just a talking ship, ignore me...
Cloud: Oh, whew.
Yuffie: Glad we were only hearing things!
Cid: Fer a minute there I actually thought she was real...
Aerith: Wait, were all of us hearing Jenova speak?
Everyone is silent. [/b]
Cid: Time to go!
Cloud: Yeah.
Yuffie: Yay! Brownies!
Vincent: Finally...
Squall: About time.
Tifa: Let's get going.
Tidus: Anyone wanna play ball when we get in the air?
Everyone else: NO!
Tidus: *Sweatdrops.* Eee... Okay...
[[ Teh End! To Be Continued! ]]
